for you...

All i can say right now is that I am sorry. I'm sorry that I let my stubbornness and my pride and my selfish need to say what I think needs to be said without regard to how it may come out get in the way of what's truly important. There are no words that can properly express all the things that are going through my head and how I'm feeling except that these reactions are in no way a reflection of my feelings toward you, or toward anyone in particular... just towards my frustration in general.

You mean the world to me and I couldn't imagine life without you in it. I know things are tough for you. They are for me as well, but that is no reason why I shouldn't be here for you. I have every intention of being here for you and that never changed... just my approach and my perspectives are so skewed right now. That is no excuse but just an explanation as to why I think I'm so quick to snap. So, I apologize and I hope you can try to understand and be patient with me as I will be for you.

This song couldn't have come into my playlist at more perfect moment as it says so much of how I feel:

You say you’re down on your luck
Hey baby It’s a long, long way up
Hold back now, hold back your fears
You say you’re really down and out
And you feel like there’s no way out now
Let go now let go of your tears some more

How many times have you asked yourself?
Is this the hand of fate now that I’ve been dealt?
You’re so disillusioned this can’t be real
And you can’t stand now the way you feel

I don’t care about what they say
I won’t live or die that way
Tired of figuring out things on my own
Angel’s wings won’t you carry me home?

Chorus:
And when you’re down on your luck
Hey baby It’s a long, long way up
Hold back now, hold back your fears
And when you’re really down and out
And you feel like there’s no way out now
Let go now, let go of your tears some more

Repeat Chorus

I triumphed in the face of adversity
And I became the man I never thought I’d be
And now my biggest challenge, a thing called love
I guess I’m not as tough as I thought I was

I don’t care about what they say
I wanna marry you some day
Gonna wake up, it’s a brand new day
Angel’s wings gonna carry you away
Angel’s wings gonna carry me away
Angel’s wings gonna carry us away

Gonna carry us away
Gonna carry us away
Gonna carry us away

"Angel's Wings" ~Social Distortion